Happy Independence Day!
Wait you are a mom you don’t know what freedom is. You are a
chattel slave of a three feet human that you produced! That too sober! (or not)
Anyway, since we are talking about freedom, here is a list
of things we mothers need freedom from on this independence day:
1.
Judgemental
people: They say it takes a whole village to raise a child. But can we do
away with the judgy village folk? No really the last thing I need is for you to
judge me just because my child is throwing a very untimely tantrum
2.
Unwanted advice:
Scratch that. Any Advice period. Seriously the moment we get pregnant the whole
world and their mother thinks they have to unload advice on us. All of a sudden
in-laws, neighbors, maids, neighbors’ maids, door ki Maasi, Delhi wali bua, and
sundry feels the need to share their invaluable gyaan. No thank you Auntyji.
3.
Maid
tantrums: Can we please please have house help insurance? If one leaves us
in lurch the insurance guys have to replace with another. Because finding one,
training her, learning to trust her only to be ditched at the altar is the
worst kind of heartbreak.
4.
Martyr Syndrome:
Can we get a break from this selfless, all –giving , every forgiving, putting
herself last Nirupama Roy wali Maa? We are Prisma dude! We are unapologetic,
bad-ass, stealing our kids’ chocolates, swearing under our breath Maa.
5.
Peer
pressure: You know that impeccably dressed mother of an over-achiever kid?
Sitting in the front row of all school functions, first name basis with the
principal whose child is winning the student of the year award. Or the one
whose timeline is filled with flawless family pictures at Phoren locations who conducts
a bake sale for charity and throws the best birthday parties. The tiger mother
who always makes you feel bad for your lazy panda parenting. Yes those moms.
I’m allergic to them. My child goes to school in bus because I don’t want to
encounter this specie at the school gate
6.
Whatsapp groups:
If you are a mom of two this is what your Whatsapp looks like.
o
Grade 3 D Division
o
Jr KG Division A
o
Grade 3 GHV school
o
Chess class Monday Batch
o
Gymnastics @ Don Bosco
o
Class Café
o
Kiaan turns 4
o
Moms club
o
Drawing class @ JB
o
Ganpati Dance Rehearsals – Junior group
o
I-day elocution practice group
This list is
unending. Whatsapp has to be the bane of my existence as a mother. It almost
makes me wonder if parenting was even possible before the invention of Whatsapp.
7. School work and projects : Think of all
the best out of waste, Environment friendly Ganesha, Dress up as freedom
fighter, Poster on water conservation, working model of a car made our of
milk carton. Think of all the hours spent making crap nobody cares about. Sign
me out please.
8. Birthday Parties: No really. Can we
just have a drop off birthday party where both kids are invited irrespective of
their age and where the mother insists on no-gift no return gift policy? I
don’t want to dress up and hang around bunch of equally jaded parents at an
extremely noisy hall which serves sugar bombs and make my already hyper kids
hyperventilate. I definitely don’t want to see another mom in a matching
matching dress as her child. NO. Just NO.
9. Mommy Politics: Breast or Bottle? Cloth
or Disposable? Organic or Natural? Baby wearing or Baby holding? Normal or
C-section? Co-sleeping or baby cot? Only child or siblings? ICSE or CBSE or IB
or Waldorf or Home schooling? Anti-biotics or Homeopathy? English or Mother
tongue? Screen time or not? I don’t want this. I don’t want to read another
article telling me working mothers raise independent kids or stay-at-home
mother’s children are more secure. Just let us be please. Parenting is hard
enough without adding all this politics to it.
10. Unpaid Labor: Motherhood is nothing but
20 years (if you are lucky) of bonded unpaid labor. A salary.com survey tells
us an average stay-at-home mom is putting in 94 hours a week and worth more
than $112,0004 year. That’s right! No more free labor. We want to be paid.
Because we are worth it!
This post was first featured on First Moms Club website.
This post was first featured on First Moms Club website.
