Few days ago we went out for dinner. Just husband and I. He didn't know this but for me it was our birthday celebration. Our birthdays which were a month ago. It rained like crazy and the 3 year old had a bad viral scene so of course we didn't have any celebration. The husband did not notice that. Birthdays are no big deal for him. But they are for me. So few days ago when mother in law was visiting I dropped massive hints about how he owes me a dinner and he booked us a table at a happening place in Bandra. It takes one of the visits from one of the grand moms for us to have a decent dinner out. I'm one of those crazy moms who refused to hire a nanny (which in India most of us can) A decision I quite frankly question a lot. At least twice a day. You see I'm selfish. I want all of my children's time. But I also want some of mine. It is like being on a treadmill. I'm constantly on the move but I'm forever on hold. You know what I mean? If you are nodding your head right now, you have children under the age of 40.
So anyway back to this dinner. I dressed up and washed and conditioned and gelled my hair. and clicked dozen selfies and sent them to my favorite girls. My sister replied "You look like mom from back when she was young" I knew which picture she was referring to. We have seen few of mum's black and white photos. Bell bottom pants and puff sleeved top. Long hair with just one snake like latt near her eyebrow. And kohl in her big eyes. She must be barely 14 in that picture. I tried to remember what I looked like at 14. I had to shake my head to forget that horrific image. I remembered the times when people have told me I look like my mom. When I was a teenager I would take offence. I thought it meant I look old. When I just had Arav I was embarrassed coz I thought it meant I'm fat. But now I know it is a huge compliment. To be told I look like my mom. Will I ever carry myself with the confidence she does? The dignity that her personality has. I dont know I can only try. I think of all her three children I resemble her the most and she knows that. She has mentioned it to me whenever I put some weight on. Meanwhile her opinion on my sartorial choices is this " Why are you so ajeeb?" Just two days ago we planned to meet a cousin who was not well and she casually mentioned wear a kurti and come. I knew what she meant she did not want me to be ajeeb.
The same day my little one said "Aap ekdum maasi lag rahe ho" I giggled with him. This again would have offended me in a previous life time. Back when we were growing up if someone mentioned oh you sisters look so alike we would vehemently disagree. People always assumed I was the older one and it enraged me. Once someone assumed I'm the mother of her son while shes the new bride ( I was barely 18 years old then) As a teen ager where I was craving to create my own identity such comparisons would irk me. But today I'm grateful. If someone says you look so much like your sister I would take it as a huge compliment. Shes pretty and graceful. And she's highly photogenic. I think the reason Niv said I look like Maasi is because I was dressed up. He must have so far only seen me in my ajeeb avatar. So this must be a nice change for him.
Yes I would like to be more like Mom and Dee Dee. Not just in looks. But this is a beginning I think.
So anyway back to this dinner. I dressed up and washed and conditioned and gelled my hair. and clicked dozen selfies and sent them to my favorite girls. My sister replied "You look like mom from back when she was young" I knew which picture she was referring to. We have seen few of mum's black and white photos. Bell bottom pants and puff sleeved top. Long hair with just one snake like latt near her eyebrow. And kohl in her big eyes. She must be barely 14 in that picture. I tried to remember what I looked like at 14. I had to shake my head to forget that horrific image. I remembered the times when people have told me I look like my mom. When I was a teenager I would take offence. I thought it meant I look old. When I just had Arav I was embarrassed coz I thought it meant I'm fat. But now I know it is a huge compliment. To be told I look like my mom. Will I ever carry myself with the confidence she does? The dignity that her personality has. I dont know I can only try. I think of all her three children I resemble her the most and she knows that. She has mentioned it to me whenever I put some weight on. Meanwhile her opinion on my sartorial choices is this " Why are you so ajeeb?" Just two days ago we planned to meet a cousin who was not well and she casually mentioned wear a kurti and come. I knew what she meant she did not want me to be ajeeb.
The same day my little one said "Aap ekdum maasi lag rahe ho" I giggled with him. This again would have offended me in a previous life time. Back when we were growing up if someone mentioned oh you sisters look so alike we would vehemently disagree. People always assumed I was the older one and it enraged me. Once someone assumed I'm the mother of her son while shes the new bride ( I was barely 18 years old then) As a teen ager where I was craving to create my own identity such comparisons would irk me. But today I'm grateful. If someone says you look so much like your sister I would take it as a huge compliment. Shes pretty and graceful. And she's highly photogenic. I think the reason Niv said I look like Maasi is because I was dressed up. He must have so far only seen me in my ajeeb avatar. So this must be a nice change for him.
Yes I would like to be more like Mom and Dee Dee. Not just in looks. But this is a beginning I think.
