a whole year passed by...since i started writing this blog....19 odd posts....many more remained unsaid.....laziness.....hectic schedule....sometimes the words just left me....scattered above and beyond....difficult to bring them together again like feelings or people.....
do you remember who you spent your new years eve with 10 years ago? how many of them are still with you? one of them? all of them? none of them..... welcome to the club....
you feel alone...lonely....you seek company....then it gets suffocating... the crowd....too many voices.....clogging your mind...making it difficult to hear your own thoughts.....so you run...as fast as you can.....to find yourself lonely again.....
you scroll the photos on your facebook.....from down to up....a baby has turned into a boy....learning listening observing and then unlearning......growing up as if he is on steroids.....STOP....i'm not ready yet......not ready to let go of this pure innocence....your feet are too big for your shoes.... already
which is the real you? the photoshopped life on facebook.....the candid writings on your blog....or the tears you cry when you are alone in the night....which is your real life? some of this....all of this...
Happy - sad...dichotomy of emotions.....thts how i feel about this year happy-sad....I'm a woman...a mother....Happy-sad is a state of being for me....One moment I'm ecstatic the next disappointment sweeps over me.....happy-sad...they are like conjoined twins.....
Its ok to feel happy-sad.....its important to acknowledge them both....i dont want to sanitize my feelings anymore....i want to feel both happiness and sadness with all my heart.... i want to laugh till my tummy hurts....i want to cry till my eyes swell....its a legit emotion....happy-sad
there are many things in my life i am grateful about.....and many things have not turned out the way i thought they would..... but i'm hopeful.....I'm myopic you see....i cant see things which are far very clearly....they appear hazy blurred with soft edges....little blobs...i can make what i want of it....i wear glasses to correct my vision....those glasses are rose-tinted.....as yet
I'm ready for a happy-sad new year... how about you?
do you remember who you spent your new years eve with 10 years ago? how many of them are still with you? one of them? all of them? none of them..... welcome to the club....
you feel alone...lonely....you seek company....then it gets suffocating... the crowd....too many voices.....clogging your mind...making it difficult to hear your own thoughts.....so you run...as fast as you can.....to find yourself lonely again.....
you scroll the photos on your facebook.....from down to up....a baby has turned into a boy....learning listening observing and then unlearning......growing up as if he is on steroids.....STOP....i'm not ready yet......not ready to let go of this pure innocence....your feet are too big for your shoes.... already
which is the real you? the photoshopped life on facebook.....the candid writings on your blog....or the tears you cry when you are alone in the night....which is your real life? some of this....all of this...
Happy - sad...dichotomy of emotions.....thts how i feel about this year happy-sad....I'm a woman...a mother....Happy-sad is a state of being for me....One moment I'm ecstatic the next disappointment sweeps over me.....happy-sad...they are like conjoined twins.....
Its ok to feel happy-sad.....its important to acknowledge them both....i dont want to sanitize my feelings anymore....i want to feel both happiness and sadness with all my heart.... i want to laugh till my tummy hurts....i want to cry till my eyes swell....its a legit emotion....happy-sad
there are many things in my life i am grateful about.....and many things have not turned out the way i thought they would..... but i'm hopeful.....I'm myopic you see....i cant see things which are far very clearly....they appear hazy blurred with soft edges....little blobs...i can make what i want of it....i wear glasses to correct my vision....those glasses are rose-tinted.....as yet
I'm ready for a happy-sad new year... how about you?
No comments:
Post a Comment