Nivaan

Nivaan. He has turned 6 months old. Sometime when i was not looking and when the days poured into nights turned into days, time just kept flying.Not so long ago he was inside me. Kicking. Dancing. Hiccuping. We watched tv till 4 coz we couldnt sleep. I put my swollen ankles up ate some junk while he swam in my tummy. He was getting big in there. I was restless. And yet.

Yet i wanted to stretch that time. I knew what happens when they come out. It has happened once already. Arav has grown up on a fast forward mode. I didnt click enough pictures didnt shoot enough videos. I dont remember what his first words were. I have forgotten how he sounded when he said l instead of r. And also i knew i will miss being pregnant.

But you kept ur date. One moment i was huge n round n walking to the hospital in my ugly green gown. The next you were out in my arms. Pink n raw and spiked hair. Aman mama called you gangnam style for few days. My body ached but it felt good to have you out.

We got you home. It was all very strange. Even though i have been through this once. I wanted to get back to my normal life. But i didnt know what was normal anymore. Arav was confused. There were too many people in the house and his mamma wasnt there for him. i wasnt going to school with him or dressing him up. I wasnt playing with him. I didnt even look like myself. And then there was you. New member in our family.

It wasnt love at first sight. I may have only liked you slightly. My entire concern was arav the second i delivered you. I wondered what he would think when he would hold you. When i sat feeding you in a room and heard arav cry, i wanted to run to him. You were different. You were not arav. You didnt look like him. Or me. Or your father. You still dont. You were also not a girl. But i got over that very quickly.

You are you. Nivaan. The holy one. The second one. The little one. The one born with small eyes and one flat ear and half a dimple. You are not as chubby as arav was. You are not as tall as him. But when you smile. Oh dear. When you smile your special smile. Or laugh your belly laugh. You light up my life. And i dont know when exactly i fell in love with you in last 6 months. But i did. N i realised loving you doesnt mean i love arav less. In fact loving you is loving arav his father n myself.

You may not look like any of us but you are a part of all of us. Like arav says Nivaan hamara baby hai.