Endless Eulogy

I talk. You phase out
You talk. I absorb
I promise. I forget
You remember. You act
I think just of me
You think of everyone and me
I'm confused you are sorted
You are nonchalant I'm besotted
I'm crabby you are crabbier
I'm crazy you are sober
You like to call a spade a spade
I indulge in ridiculous charade
I falter I regress
You help me back don't let me digress
I'm messy you are clean
You are forgiving I'm mean
I'm selfish you are kind
I delay you make up your mind
I seek you escape
I hide you undrape
I cling you run
I run you wait till I'm done
I'm moon you are my golden sun
There is no one perfect analogy
You are my love
I'm your endless eulogy.

in case you are wondering what brought this on......six years back on new years I met my hubby...it was arranged by our families....so he had come to "see" me. Well all I can say is he came he saw and he conquered. So every new years I get bit nostalgic thinking about our firsts....first date first movie first kiss first goodbye so on and so forth. Six years and many more to come......

On that sappy note.... Happy new year y'all.....

So many ways

There are so many ways
so many ways I deserve to be loved in
so many ways I yearn to be loved in
so many ways I need to be loved in

Will you not love me in one of them
in one way. each day

For you my heart I'm willing to lay
if you just love me in one such way
every single day

This is one thing about me i cant change
I try to keep myself happy
but without you its quite strange

Give me something to hold on to
throw me little something now and then
humour me jest me or simply pretend

I am your heart so hold me close
irrevocably in love with you
so there's very little hope

unless you want it that way.
So love me in one of your ways
for now and for rest of our days

So you think you can dance

There are many shortcuts to happiness and dancing is one of them.I love dancing.I love people who love dancing.I am one of those many women who dream of wearing high heels ruffled skirt and salsa like J.Lo.. or belly dance like Shakira....or groove like our very own munni... but I never took dance lessons.When I was young my sister would go for kathak lessons. was told I was too chubby for it. And then in family functions or weddings whenever we performed together she was referred to as "Nache mayuri" and I was called "Dhokala dance" .... that distinction stayed in me for most of my growing up years.It didn't help that I was always made the guy in school annual day performances.They could never find a guy taller than me so they turned me into one.That meant that I always got the ugly costumes and awkward moves.....

But things changed when i went to college....and was introduced to the "Podar audi"..... the one place where you could lose all your inhibitions and dance like crazy.....i wasn't allowed to party....so i had never been to any pub, club, lounge or whatever those places are called.....So the auditorium of our college was the only place i could jive in.....n jive i did.....for five years in countless socials.....twice i even performed on the stage.....but that was more because of the guy-in-charge had a crush on me and less because of my dancing skills.....but nevertheless i got comfortable with my self and started to forget the dhokala dance tag.....

Of course post babyhood my confidence was deflated.....i felt like i lost my sense of rhythm in the delivery room....i was still waddling and couldn't see my toes.....so when the streak of weight loss began the need to get my groove back became stronger.....that's when i saw the ad in newspaper...SDIPA happening right next to my building....i immediately signed up.....Mum said "you are going to dance with teenagers.... how old are the people in your batch?" relax mum....they are my age.... (when i was 4 years younger but who cares)....He said "this is just one of your whims....like last year you wanted to go for yoga classes...you didn't even last a month" well this is different....and if nothing else you will get a chance to say "i told you so" .....so let me go...

Yes i did tilt the average age of my batch....the 14 year old guy in my batch called me Aunty.....The instructor once said "You are rolling like a vada pav" which brought back memories of the dhokala tag.....but it was ok....I was dancing and I was having fun.....and then after 15 sessions we performed in a show....with costumes and technical rehearsals....I was on stage again..... and it barely lasted for 3 minutes.....but it was euphoric..... I shamelessly paraded the videos n pics on FB....and basked in the glory of all the likes and comments.....Arav was amused to see the video.....and for the entire last week he eats his food only when "Mamma dancing" is played....Husband was impressed.....and I am jubilant.