Summer afternoons

Hot humid sticky
never ending
long summer afternoons

switch off the TV quick
lets take a nap
pull the curtains
oh no hes done potty
bring me
the wipes quick

turn off the tv i said
n start the AC
its so bloody hot
hehehe u said bleddy
whatever close your eyes now

NOW

i give u five minutes
to sleep or else
ok start the fan and turn off the AC
and bring me my phone its ringing
dont pick it up

can u also fetch baby's blanket please?

ok now sleep its 3 already
i will wake u at 5 u have skating class
why arent u sleeping?

Mamma u give me 100 things to do
how will i sleep?

Ok sorry can i give you a hug?
No its too hot....goodnight

The Night Games

You move too much you take up all the place
It is a queens bed there is only so much space
The mattress at the foot of the bed
with blue and red spiderman spread
thats yours remember?

Its been more than a year
Since we kicked you out of our bed
but every night since then you are back
Your feet you hands on my face they go smack

But there is another one now
inside my belly
fourth one on a bed meant for two
as restless as adamant as you

There is kicking and snatching
and grumbling and screaming
both inside and outside
and there is 3am loo breaks
where my bladder threatens to burst
and 4am hunger pangs, heartburn and thirst

And 6am the phone alarm goes off
the other adult who was never invited in our party of three
a reluctant guest in our tug-of-war soiree
grumbles his way out of the bed

only then we sleep peacefully
him/her and you and I
And the sun trickles through the window
the light on your head it makes a halo
and you giggle

What? why are you giggling?
"Purple" you say
What is purple?
The sky
Is it?
Yes....Good Morning....

 

The questions you dont ask

Not long ago I was wary of your questions.....you seem to ask them all the time...i thought u did it on purpose just to see how easily i get annoyed....even though I reminded myself of good parenting 101....always encourage your children to ask questions....always answer them politely....they are little curious scientists....etc etc....Blah....its 7 pm and i am in no mood to play 1001 questions...

Why you get angry Mamma?

why we have to leave naani house mamma?

what will we do when daadi goes back mamma?

who makes the cars mamma?

where does the garbage truck takes the trash mamma?

what is "fuckitell" mamma? (he overheard me saying fuck it hell..... oops)

How did the baby get inside your tummy mamma? 

when you cry i feel hurt mamma....here (he points at his chest) ok so this is not a question but it makes me want to run away....seriously....

So i thought answering your questions is the most difficult thing to do.....answering you nicely i mean...

But every time i share some knowledge with you.....every time i correct you....every time my answer don't match with the picture you have of this world....i feel like i am disappointing you.....like i am robbing you of your innocence....I dont want to do that.....i want you to think this world is amazing....

Few evenings ago you were upset about something....i wanted to distract you...so i started making animal noises....it worked you forgot what you were angry about....Mamma be a lion *roar* be a dog *woof woof* a cat *meow* a goat *baa baa* NO a goat *meh meh* No mamma......here i will show you....

you took my dupatta and tied my hands....just like the ones we saw Mamma....

We were in our car stopped at a signal....it was the day before bakra-eid....there was a tempo in front of us....with few goats tied inside....their limbs were all tied they look bored or scared i dont know....you pointed at them and said "look goats" but you didnt ask me anything.....i waited for the questions to come...but you just kept looking at them....You found your own answer....

I'm scared .... it makes me uneasy when you don't ask questions..... don't stop now.....not yet.....