So for quite some time now I have been reading about parenting.....blogs, articles, books, magazines......terms like spiritual parenting, involved parenting, child led parenting, hands-on parenting etc etc have been thrown around....It can get quiet over whelming....So you have to pick and choose....and create what suits you and your child of course.... (mainly you)
Thus I came up with my very own magic formula which is by all means an extension of my personality and more or less have worked for me and Arav....Here it goes
Lazy parenting. Letting time take its course. Slow reflexes, denial, temporary amnesia, very high threshold for grossness....These are all very important tools of parenting i discovered.
It all started with breastfeeding....This was a no brainer really....No washing or sterilising needed. No need to lug around a bag full of bottles and nipples and formula and warm water and what-not. Just a baby blanket or a shawl to cover your modesty and voila....After the infant has turned into a toddler it becomes all the more important to act slowly. Dont jump at every sound he makes. Dont linger. Let the child be. If he is hurt he will get back up. If he is bored he will find something to do. Eventually. You just have to wait and watch. All the while pretending to be really concerned. It is a skill that you must develop.
Ground-level parenting. this is an extension of my lazy philosophy. Always sitting on the ground with the child. It is the easiest thing to do really. this way all the mess is away from your furniture. Also the child will be happy doing his thing if he knows you are that accessible. Which can mean you can read your newspaper or chat with someone on the phone or paint your toes (ofcourse you will have to paint his first). It has all sort of other benefits like correct posture, being on the same eye-level as the kid builds trust etc etc.....even though all you are trying to do is save your couch.
Community parenting. Ideally a child should grow up in a community. But a joint family comes with too many strings attached. Instead what you can opt for is a group of moms you like to hang around with and more importantly group of kids your child doesnt particularly dislike. if you have this combination then you have it made. Note : fathers are not a required part of this community at all. In fact they are known to throw the balance off.....so include them at your own risk. If your friends are having kids at the same time you are then you seriously lucked out. If not keep them for special weekends. Meanwhile go out and make a bunch of mommy friends. Then you can play-date, exchange toys, be a support system. Also bitch about all mommy-things and there is no better bonding exercise than that.
Common-sense parenting. This again can be called an extension of lazy theory. Let the child choose. Let him decide when to eat and when to stop. Keep it simple. As uncomplicated as possible. The child doesnt need any of the latest toys or gadgets or IQ increasing product. He needs un-processed food and un-conditional love. Lots of hugs, smiles and a little bit of crazy. A park to jump and run in. A table to draw and eat on. And your time. Every second of it. All of it. As much as you can part with it.
Like Ranbir Kapoor says "Keep it simple, silly"
Of course it would mean you will have to postpone. everything. a lot. You will miss coffee dates, dance nights, sale on your favourite brand, un-interrupted conversations even with yourself. But you will learn to be Zen about it. First you waited to grow up now you just have to wait for them to grow up. That's all. and it will happen before you even realise it. So take it slow. Take it easy. Pour yourself a drink. and if you are not a drinking type then eat a bar of chocolate and read few pages out of your favorite book after everyone is asleep. It will keep you sane.
Thus I came up with my very own magic formula which is by all means an extension of my personality and more or less have worked for me and Arav....Here it goes
Lazy parenting. Letting time take its course. Slow reflexes, denial, temporary amnesia, very high threshold for grossness....These are all very important tools of parenting i discovered.
It all started with breastfeeding....This was a no brainer really....No washing or sterilising needed. No need to lug around a bag full of bottles and nipples and formula and warm water and what-not. Just a baby blanket or a shawl to cover your modesty and voila....After the infant has turned into a toddler it becomes all the more important to act slowly. Dont jump at every sound he makes. Dont linger. Let the child be. If he is hurt he will get back up. If he is bored he will find something to do. Eventually. You just have to wait and watch. All the while pretending to be really concerned. It is a skill that you must develop.
Ground-level parenting. this is an extension of my lazy philosophy. Always sitting on the ground with the child. It is the easiest thing to do really. this way all the mess is away from your furniture. Also the child will be happy doing his thing if he knows you are that accessible. Which can mean you can read your newspaper or chat with someone on the phone or paint your toes (ofcourse you will have to paint his first). It has all sort of other benefits like correct posture, being on the same eye-level as the kid builds trust etc etc.....even though all you are trying to do is save your couch.
Community parenting. Ideally a child should grow up in a community. But a joint family comes with too many strings attached. Instead what you can opt for is a group of moms you like to hang around with and more importantly group of kids your child doesnt particularly dislike. if you have this combination then you have it made. Note : fathers are not a required part of this community at all. In fact they are known to throw the balance off.....so include them at your own risk. If your friends are having kids at the same time you are then you seriously lucked out. If not keep them for special weekends. Meanwhile go out and make a bunch of mommy friends. Then you can play-date, exchange toys, be a support system. Also bitch about all mommy-things and there is no better bonding exercise than that.
Common-sense parenting. This again can be called an extension of lazy theory. Let the child choose. Let him decide when to eat and when to stop. Keep it simple. As uncomplicated as possible. The child doesnt need any of the latest toys or gadgets or IQ increasing product. He needs un-processed food and un-conditional love. Lots of hugs, smiles and a little bit of crazy. A park to jump and run in. A table to draw and eat on. And your time. Every second of it. All of it. As much as you can part with it.
Like Ranbir Kapoor says "Keep it simple, silly"
Of course it would mean you will have to postpone. everything. a lot. You will miss coffee dates, dance nights, sale on your favourite brand, un-interrupted conversations even with yourself. But you will learn to be Zen about it. First you waited to grow up now you just have to wait for them to grow up. That's all. and it will happen before you even realise it. So take it slow. Take it easy. Pour yourself a drink. and if you are not a drinking type then eat a bar of chocolate and read few pages out of your favorite book after everyone is asleep. It will keep you sane.
