Friday, September 2, 2011

Its not who I am its what I do


Carrie Bradshaw flash back again....the episode where Carrie is giving up her career and moving to Paris for that really annoying petrowski guy...Miranda tells her u cant give up writing thats who you are and Carrie replies its not who i am its what i do....That line is so close to my heart....coz really i fail to understand why people like to be defined by what they do or what degree is gathering dust at the back of their closets.....Why does your choice of career have to depend on a degree you were naive enough to pursue when you were 18?

There are some people who have it all figured out...10 year plans what to study where to work how to retire all of it....and then there are some who go through life with an open mind or no clue depending on how you look at it.....So you can call it either luck or lack of direction but as long as you are willing to take it in your stride life can really surprise you....case in point yours truly.....I took commerce coz my sister did...i did CPA coz i wanted to escape groom hunting.....then marriage happened I moved to NY...and suddenly having a CPA looked like a great career move....then a move back home....and then Arav happened....to keep him busy joined a mother toddler activity program Musical Bonding....loved it got trained in it and now started my own centre....and all of this happened in a span of 6 years....So in 2008 I was a Senior tax analyst in Manhattan today I am a Musical Bonding teacher in New Bombay. It is amazing how things work out if you just give them a chance.

People ask me what do i plan to do with my CPA degree? do i ever plan to go back? well i dont know...i dont see myself doing a 9-6 again....I'm a mom....I can only improvise as i go....and im sure something else which will be incredibly appropriate for that phase of life will come up....and i will just take it up....why should i restrict my choices just coz of that degree i once studied for? i still remember the last mentor-mentee meeting i had with my manager in NY....he was suggesting that perhaps i should think of getting my masters in tax since i have decided to make my career in it....he ofcourse didnt know i was moving in less than 3 months....i told him im not sure if thats what i want to do....he looked at me shocked and said "what else are you going to do open a coffee shop?" and i thought "yes why not" but i said "emm let me think about it"

So if you ask me what do i do? I will tell you I'm a mum as long as my son is awake....when he naps i try to b a writer....twice a week i also become a teacher...and this reply is bound to change over the years.....and i have enjoyed every phase of my career so far....so no the degree was not wasted....those countless hours spent studying were fun too....yes i do feel that i should have studied psychology or creative writing or german.....but its never too late....once Arav starts school so can i....or not....

Thats one more amazing thing about having a child....it kind of makes you believe that anything is really possible....When you ask a child what does he want to become the answer can be anything he fancies at that time....he is free to choose....no restrictions no compromises.....Thats how we must be too.....dont you think?


Thursday, July 28, 2011

The language dilemma

The inevitable has happened....i guess i knew it deep down but still i was very surprised when it jumped on me last week....i went to the first PTM at Aravs school....very excited to hear what the teachers had to say about my baby....They mostly had good things....i was surprised to know he is attentive and friendly...two traits he has yet to show in my presence....But then it came "He needs to improve his english"..... He understands english perfectly well but he only speaks in Hindi....Its ok now but later when he goes to the big school this might be a problem...

I came home wondering is that really true? we speak in both languages at home....not preferring one over the other....and thats what i have been speaking with Arav too....I was too busy rejoicing that Arav can now talk in full sentences and the fact that his vocabulary can justify his emotions...that he has finally got a way to express himself fully.....little did i realise that he was doing it in grammatically wrong way....So i came home and started noticing....this is what i got to hear "This is Aru ka bed and this is mamma ka bed" "Chalo mamma sleeping karna hai" "Mamma shoes open karo" "Mamma Aru ka petu hungry hai" so on and so forth...and it hit me that this is how i talk to him..not in english and hindi but in Hinglish....and i wished that if Singapore can have singlish cant we not live with Hinglish?

Isnt the main purpose of language is to be able to communicate? I am sure a lot of purists will happily kill me over this....but i found myself conversing in proper english with Arav for last 3 days and the poor guy is confused....he had finally sorted this language thing and im making things difficult again....to the point that he actually stopped talking to me for a while last evening...and i realised it was absurd....ofcourse i want him to learn his languages the right way....but i dont want to discourage him....and here i was thinking that he is ready to be introduced to Marwari....I dont know the right way of doing this....but i know that he already knows the difference between those languages....he knows that he has been using words from both of them....

The other day husband asked him "aaj school mein kya kiya Arav?" he replied "English speaking kiya" yes we have a long way to go :)

Thursday, July 7, 2011

The morning-night paradox

The morning whiff of after shave on his face
The night that lingers as she can still taste
His knotted tie in its place
Her hair a tangled mess
His naughty eyes unfazed
sliding slowly out of her embrace
Him saying goodbye nice and slow
Her delaying not ready to let go
Two hearts one soul in the night
can belong to two strangers in the morning light.